Dear Friend,
I think your nervousness to allow your 11 year old to have her own phone or phone-like device is well-founded! I’ll share some thoughts about the subject that you may not have thought of before. Technology like this one isn’t really good or evil in itself, but it doesn’t always seem like most people think about how the way we receive and transmit information affects us, our environments, and our children. These are our own personal convictions in this gray area:
- Real life is always better.
Any decent app always has some grounding in reality — a physics based game, bowling, shooting, art, whatever. I know it’s a strong statement, but the real life option is nearly always better if it is an option. So we have our children build real life things with paper, glue, hammer, nails, plastic, metal . . . we actually go bowling, clean and shoot real guns, do real art with real tactile materials. The experience of doing messy, lovely real life is so much better than engaging on a screen or with a controller. We were designed as whole people and I like to practice using “the whole me.” Also, if you wouldn’t do it in real life, don’t do it digitally. - The more context I have in relationship, the better and stronger the relationship.
We are living among a generation of people who don’t know how to build real, lasting relationships. Text is great for conveying information, but horrible for anything connectingly human, like emotions or conversation. Context is very important for communicating most things and I want us to be awesome at learning context — nonverbal communication, emotional connectivity, etc. - Productivity over consumerism
We train our children to use everything at their fingertips to be productive, including screens. We limit entertainment based screen time to engagement as a family. - Patience and fortitude lead to joy.
One of the results of digitalization and screens is the appearance that happiness is instant and at your fingertips, instead of the resultant of a long journey of hard work. Online, most things appear to be attainable at your fingertips. But the things that really matter just aren’t like that. Love, true religion, job satisfaction, finding your passion . . . all of these massive areas that bring lasting satisfaction require day in and day out hard work. Endurance. Character. Joy. - Miscellany
A bit of research on some of these things might cause you to think twice:
a) the effects of up close work on the presence of myopia in children
b) sedentary lifestyles lead to long term chronic health issues
c) the effects of blue light on the quantity and quality of sleep
I know that we have a peculiar family culture, but I would love to talk more with you about this topic if you want. I know some of it sounds weird! You might ask how my children know how to function in the digital world. Well, I’ll answer that question next time.
–Marcie
I agree whole-heartedly, Marcie! As you know, we still enjoy our “flip phones” for the occasional phone call and nothing else! Yes, we have laptops and tablets, but try to be so careful to have “face to face” time more than “face to screen” time! <3
Yes Shelly! I feel like having a smart phone has degraded the overall quality of my life. My best days are the ones when I forget about the screen altogether!
Many good thoughts. I created some significant family conflict by refusing to let Caleb be given a cell phone. Sometimes, going against the majority is worth it. Actually, a lot of times, but that’s another conversation.
We should have that conversation! It’s even harder when your support network isn’t on the same page as you are. But it’s worth it.
I see the results of this lack of perseverance from too much easy digital gratification in my students. We are doing a research project and when they can’t find the exact thing they are looking for staring them in the face the give up. They don’t want to synthesize the information at all. I had to model several lessons on exhausting our resources, and they still wanted to go for the lowest hanging fruit. When we only had book resources years ago they did so much better!
Yes! It sometimes feels like a pain to teach some of these skills that seem “obsolete” in today’s plugged in world. But at the same time, the very act of teaching and learning them does something not only good, but I would say necessary in our brains. Keep up the good work in teaching perseverance, Mrs. Moser!
I AGREE completely 🙂
I absolutely saw a MARKED difference when my kids were in a “no technology” school (til middle school) which backed my perspective and home training; contentment, reverance, ability to focus and search for wisdom…. vs. technology driven settings; complete lack of contentment, disrespect, quick boredom and thrill seeking. Tricky when my own children have had two polar opposite parental inputs throughout their lives… I have to train with wisdom vs. a strong arm, or I will have rebellion on my hands due to the kids exposure and use of tools I would have limited more…. Balance and wisdom is critical while raising children in our culture. Do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with our God as we train children in a complex world.
Keep writing Marcie 🙂 I am on your “same page” 🙂
Yes! I can even tell a difference from day to day and what the children are longing for. Keep up the great work Ronda!