From Tank Problem to Mise En Place

When I was 17, my heart was captured by God.

I was born again screaming for spiritual nourishment and had an insatiable appetite for spending unhurried, regular time with him. Although I consumed the Bible like a dog on a pork chop, I read lots of books like My Utmost for His Highest, the Chronological Bible in One Year. I’ve enjoyed times of listening prayer, poetry-writing, and meditation and reflection. Through the years, I dabbled in various ways of interacting with God at different times of day. I read the mystics like Fenelon, and Brother Lawrence. Spontaneous. Scheduled. Extended. Eruptive.

For most of my life in Christ, I thought that having this regular, daily time in the morning was like that, like “getting my tank filled.” And in some ways, it was. It was a way for me to fill my mind with noble thoughts in the morning. It was a way to focus on something positive first thing. But through the years, I found that it never felt like enough. I wanted more. Leaking faster than I could get filled, I ran out of fingers to put in the dam. More than once I rudely chased a child out of the room so I could “get filled.” Or resented the around-the-clock feeding of a baby that messed with my rest and with my mind. And I found myself hoping that the goodness and grace I got that morning wouldn’t run out before it was time to get my children to bed. Some days I couldn’t get out of bed, or the season of life didn’t allow me to have the amount or quality time I wanted. And sometimes, I reeled with worry and dissatisfaction because of that.

Mise en Place

In the last year, the image of my hungry spirit that has come to mind is less of a tank to be filled and emptied, and more of the kind of preparation it takes to do a thing well. The practice of Mise en Place, where a chef (or assistant) prepares and measures ingredients prior to the actual cooking and assembly, makes pulling food together look and feel effortless.

I’ve noticed that when I get the ingredients of the day (courage, goodness, hope, anticipation) prepped first thing, the day does feel more effortless no matter what comes my way. I can even improvise more easily because the ingredients are there before me, waiting to be assembled.

Airspeed Calibration

The Engineer has been traveling to a client out East recently. It’s a fascinating and complicated project, involving modifications to an air frame and subsequent testing of those modifications. Often the first thing he requests in these kinds of projects is airspeed calibrations. Because on one hand, there is a speed the airplane is actually traveling over land. On the other hand, the speed which the instruments say you are flying (calculated using a difference in pressures). Without a calibration curve, you don’t even know how fast you are actually going. My gauge reads one thing, but reality is another.

In the same way, morning quiet time does not necessarily reveal the course of the day or what obstacles may be coming. But it acts a lot like getting those calibration curves, or calibrating the heart instrument and bringing it back to True.

Instrument Tuning

The last image that came to mind was of my son tuning up his violin every time he sets out to practice after lunch each day. I play the piano, so I don’t have the same experience as he does. He started out using a tuner. Then he learned to hear the intervals and tune using his ear, back checking with a digital tuner. Now he tunes and goes.

He could play his scales and etudes without tuning first. But then he would be chasing every note around, in a perpetual state of unrest over where to play the string to yield the right tone. And his practices would not yield the consistency and muscle memory that he needs to get better and better. Any musician or athlete can tell you that getting better is all about your muscles repeating the same basic movements correctly, over and over again, until they are a part of you. If he never tuned up first, all of his energy would be spent just hoping to find and finding the next note. Expertise and expression would be out of the question. And life without quiet meditation can feel pointless, like chasing notes instead of making music.

I want to pull together beautiful thoughts and speech, to have my heart ring True, and for my life to make music. How grateful I am to have that time to prepare each day with my God!